As a special to Burgundy Review, one of our discord members jlaw37 has provided this article for your enjoyment to celebrate the end of the break.
What do you do with two weeks of no Avs games? Well, I watch a lot of Avenger movies and then spend way too long thinking about which Av is which Avenger. This obsession started about 8 years ago when someone on Mile High Hockey (Andi maybe) made a graphic with Avs as Avengers.
In this version I didn’t end up using any female characters, maybe I should have, but none of them had a strong enough correlation to cross the gender barrier. So here is my version of the Avsvengers. (There may be some spoilers).
Thor – Landeskog: This is the easy one, he’s basically the reason you start comparing the Avs to the Avengers in the first place. Unfortunately this season we are getting the fat, drunk, End Game version of Thor.
Ironman – MacKinnon: This one is pretty easy too. He’s the character the MCU revolves around. He can fly he can shoot, he’s cocky and super competitive. To make this work, we’re just going to pretend what happened at the end of End Game didn’t happen. I also considered making him Captain Marvel, you know because he’s unstoppable, but she’s not around enough.
Hulk – Rantanen: This one is probably a little controversial, but hear me out. Most people would say Zadorov because, you know, Z Smash! But because of Z’s tenuous spot on the Avs roster, I didn’t want him to give him such and important role. Why Rantanen? Because he’s huge, can smash on reverse hits, plus he’s having a bit of an identity crisis lately. Hopefully he finds the right balance between Banner and Hulk and becomes a steady reliable force.
In all the Avenger movie posters, those three are always front and center just like Landy, MacK and Rants are always front and center for the Avs. The other Avenger who’s always there is …
Captain America – Calvert: I know he’s Canadian but I had to choose him. His mentality is spot on for Captain America. I can imagine after fighting Benn the other day him getting up and saying “I could do this all day”.
I thought about the four Americans on the roster but they didn’t seem to fit.
Nieto (did you know he’s from Long Beach?) It can’t be him . Cole – nope . EJ – I considered him and you could make a real strong case, but I came up with a different role for him later. JTC – Again you could make a case, but he’s just not good enough to have such a high rank in the Avengers.
Spiderman – Makar: He’s young, he’s awesome, and delightfully naive. Much like Iron Man takes Spiderman under his wing, MacKinnon has done the same with Makar.
Antman – Girard: This was a pretty easy one. He’s small and he doesn’t seem that important, but in the end, he is vitally important to the Avenger story.
Dr. Strange – Burakovsky: I had some trouble with this one, basically I decided Dr. Strange has immense powers but doesn’t use them enough. I mean being able to open a hole and drop an enemy anywhere you want ( i.e., Mt Everest, the Ocean, Space, a pit of hot lava) seems like it would be maybe the most valuable power in the Avengers arsenal, but he rarely uses it, much like Burky rarely uses that lethal shot.
War Machine/Commander Rhodes – Kadri: He’s like Ironman, same skillset, but not as good. He’s a valuable guy on your team, but you can’t build a whole franchise around him.
Falcon – Donskoi: I don’t know, because he flies around and stuff.
Bucky/Winter Soldier – Nieto: He’s like Captain America’s but not as good and you wouldn’t really miss him if he wasn’t there
Black Panther – Bellmare: Because umm… he has an accent.
Vision – Jost: Seems like he should be super awesome, but never ends up doing that much.
Korg – Nichushkin: Because he’s like a pile of rocks, so you don’t expect much but is surprisingly enjoyable.
Hawkeye – Compher: I don’t know, I ran out of characters.
Guardians of the Galaxy – The defensive defensemen.
Peter Quill/Star Lord – Johnson: He’s from the Midwest, he’s the leader of this ragtag group, he likes to joke around a lot.
Rocket – Cole: He’s a smartass who’s always ready for a fight. Not the biggest or most talented but he’s wily, resourceful and willing to do anything to win.
Groot – Graves
I considered Grubauer because you know, “I am Grub” and he seemingly has the ability to grow branches out of his left pad. But I decided against using goalies.
I really want Zadorov to be Groot, He’s super strong, tall and powerful, he might not always be engaged. Limited english, but somehow is still really funny. Plus we broke off a piece of Ryan O’Reilly when he died, planted it and got this new version of Groot. Unfortunately…
Groot is probably Graves, He’s long and skinny, we broke of a piece of Bigras who was dead, replanted it and it turned into Graves. So since it’s trending in that direction, we’ll go with that for now.
If that is the case then that leaves…
Drax the Destroyer – Zadorov: He’s motivated by revenge, makes dumb decisions because of it and in the end he’s basically around for comic relief.
In an alternate version I have Bednar as Thanos and Graves and Zadorov as his daughters, Gamora and Nebula. Obviously, Graves is Gamora, the one he loves and supports and Z is Nebula, the one he is constantly disappointed with and treats like garbage. As I said, I spent waaaay to long thinking about this.